It is night now. The snow had made my journey heavy and my mind weary.
Fear had arisen inside of me. The fear of losing control. The fear of things spiraling out of control again. There he was, waiting for me in the cold. The horror grew, I wanted to run. Run away into the cold white darkness. I stayed and instead of horror we found sorrow. Agonizing torture. Fear had no place now. The torment in his mind dominated mine.
I tried to fight the pain with belief, trust and love. It is always that way for me. It is my curse. My only hope is that some of what I was giving was taken up.
In this space there is so much pain yet so much love. I guess so very often it is hard to feel this love when one doubts oneself. I love them and I want them to stop the doubts. They probably want me to practice release.
After a long day, all the words become meaningless. His three fingers in mine while my weary mind is put to bed give the utmost support, for today the night is here and the day is gone.
Love and Be Loved,