Do you know these moments where you are upset about something small and insignificant but it then it snowballs with other more or less silly reasons until something or someone significant becomes the target and damage can be done.
Why does that happen? I guess from some unmet needs, frustrations from a different source or a deeper underlying unresolved problem. In my case it usually comes from some unrelated issue. it spirals out of control and I do damage to my social relationships.
I am short-tempered.
And I hate it!
I have struggled with it for very long and I feel like I have only recently been able to make significant progress in dealing with my emotions and thoughts. It used to be insanely difficult for me to listen to my rational side. So what would be going on was my emotions and irrational thoughts messing around in my head, dominating the rational side. Why am I upset? Why do I have to get angry and let someone else pay for my more or less silly reason to be upset about something more or less silly.
It usually took me about 5-20 mins to calm down. Sometimes it helps to leave me alone, sometimes it help to reach out to me. I wish I had a checklist, a foolproof method of how to deal with me in those situations but I can’t figure one out. I do no know what advice to give someone.
The Goth is the one who mostly suffers when I lash out like an idiot. He doesn’t deserve that, but I might also be to hard calling myself and idiot. We all have emotions and only few of us master them. I also don’t think that there are more than a handful of people who can do so all the time.
Recently I have had a couple of incidents where my irrational side built up and I felt it was going to crush my rationality. Then miraculously my rational side pushed through again and my brain said: No, no need to get upset.
I was probably upset about some guy shoving me on the tube. No need to rage at my housemates due to a dirty dish.
I wish I could get the hang of it. I wish my brain would see reason more often. And then there are all these even sillier cases of when I am drunk, which is a whole other story.
But I have a tendency to worry to much. If we put too much pressure on ourselves, all the time, we will never get anywhere. Epiphany, I have more things in common with my mother than I would like to admit.
So, for a week, for a day, for a minute, relax, rationality will return.
Love and Be Loved,