I like excitement and find more interest in new things to explore. This also goes for people. One of the reasons why I can’t imagine myself ever being monogamous is because I see myself getting bored only being able to be with one person. Just a few years of the same person seems scary, let alone a decade or a lifetime.
Considering divorce and cheating statistics, I get the feeling I am not the only one who feels like this. However there are people who get more excited by someone once they know them better, and who don’t get bored. It appears to be natural to them to find excitement constantly in the same person. I envy this. I would not find myself having lovers slip into the friend zone.
I have wondered where my sexual desire for people comes from. When someone is new to you, you can imagine all the amazing things that could happen between you. Once you get there, this beautiful thing becomes a real person, not a fantasy. Sometimes someone having a strong desire for me can reignite my fire, or seeing them with someone else can. I have found myself stop feeling sexual towards someone because I was monogamous for a while, then going back to being intimate proved incredibly difficult for me.
Recently I have been working on Mindfulness, a sort of meditation technique which I intend to post about once I have explored it more (again something new). It got me thinking about how meditation and intentional thinking can make me find that desire I thought I had lost for someone if I wish to make it surge again. Perhaps by thinking about certain events with this person that were intense, or imagining them when masturbating to bring my sexual energy closer to their presence in my mind, to associate both together again.
I might have to post about this again after I have experimented with it.
Maybe I am not so obsessed with new people as I once thought I was, in my phase where screwing people was more like a sport than an intimate encounter between two beings. I think I can relax about this subject considering I have not gained any more lovers since the summer. However two of my dearest lovers will have to depart soon, which makes room for new people. I can only hope I won’t get carried away 😉
Love and Be Loved