Over the years, growing more into polyamory, being intimate on various levels with many different people, I have finally come to terms with one thing: I am not a cuddler.
Don’t get me wrong, I love hugs. I love hugging people as a greeting, as a lovely intimate moment of connection. I love feeling the persons heartbeat against my body, breathing in and out together, feeling the comfort. But cuddles? That is a tricky area for me. I like to cuddle for a few minutes at a time, maybe only 30 seconds. I don’t like skin on skin, as it gets sticky and sweaty really quickly. Also often my shoulder ends up hurting if I lie on it weirdly trying to snuggle someone. A little here and there is good but I always felt that the message about cuddles is : ‘More is always better’ or ‘There can never be enough’ cuddles or ‘Cuddles always help’. Cuddle piles and ‘Send cuddles’ status updates seem so lovely, but for me it doesn’t sit right.As it is a huge part of the loving poly community, I thought for a long time I needed to love cuddles as much as everyone else seems to. There was cuddle pressure. I have recently admitted to myself that this is not on my ‘likes’ list. I put the pressure on myself. The loving poly community loves me as I am, cuddles or no cuddles.
Love hugs, love kisses, don’t like cuddling. Limited Cuddle Time available – Book now. Or something.
I feel like a cat – independent and stroppy. I want a bit of petting now and when I have had enough I will scratch you and wander off. And this is in no way a judgement or grumble at people who love cuddling. Please go forth and enjoy all the cuddles! 🙂
I don’t really know why I wrote this post – Random Post Achievement Unlocked!
Love and Be Loved,